This tagline (which was coined after a Whitney Houston hit song) from an infamous hugot movie, that I have watched a hundred times already, kept playing in my mind while I was making the itinerary for my first solo backpacking adventure. And to answer that question, I really don't know.

Free-spirited as I am, I've always wanted to travel solo. So when a local airline went on a seat sale, I couldn't miss the opportunity to scratch it out of in my bucket list. However, I didn't expect that my excitement would turn into sort of grieving. I know this would sound insane and funny but imagine getting your heart broken by someone you considered your happy pill, just a few days before your flight. Low-key hurts, right? So, I initially planned of not pursuing this trip because I kind of know that I would really be a total mess traveling alone with a heavy heart, but then I realized that I needed a break from everything, plus my instincts told me that I have to and I need to. Now, I can answer the question above: how about going to a place where nobody knows you?


And so the day came. It was my last day of being a twenty-four-year old troubled lad when I decided to pack my bag and boarded a plane going to a city I've never been before, all by myself and without someone to talk to. I usually don't initiate having small talks first. The inner introvert in me struck again. I left Cebu with a heavy heart, to be honest.

I took a few snaps of the wonderful view below us while listening to the travel playlist I have curated weeks before. It was still wee hours in the morning but I could see how beautiful and serene the scenery was. You know, the kind of calmness my heart wants.


After forty minutes of floating above the clouds, we finally touched down in Davao City. It is my first time to go the island of Mindanao, by the way. Surreal and laid-back. These were the first two adjectives that popped out of my mind when I reached the exit gate. Without wasting so much time, I hailed a cab that would take me to the bus station, rode a bus going to the place I believed that would help me heal the wounds. I was quite unsure if I could find solace there but I was hoping that I would.





From almost an hour floating where the sky hangs to an exhausting five-hour bus ride to a ten-minute habal-habal ride, I arrived at Mati, Davao Oriental. the place I believe I would find remedy from a bittersweet experience. I was greeted by the warm sea breeze, pristine salt waters, and less crowded shores. I think it could be a perfect definition of "love at first sight".

German (n.) an ache for distant places; the crave for travel.

I was just listening to this Moira Dela Torre track then minutes after I found myself writing its title.

As I watched the beautiful saturated sunrise during my first day as a 25-year old young adult, this kid was standing a few inches away from me while looking from afar, without saying any word. I could only hear the sea breeze and ocean waves crashing on the seashore between us. I took the opportunity to take a candid photo of him. It's great to know that he's enjoying his childhood appreciating the beauty of Mother Nature instead of playing with some gadgets. I wasn't sure if he caught me but he smiled at me and I smile back, not that kind of smile you fake when someone asks if you're doing okay but the kind of smile you make when you're happy as you appreciate the simple things in life.



This Mati trip was more like a soul searching slash creative retreat, and definitely one of the best and most unforgettable trips I ever had. For two days and one night, I found the inner peace I was looking for months. And I guess I've already found the answer to the question above. When we're heartbroken, it would be better to go to a place you've never been before, where nobody knows your name or story as you learn to follow our instincts, take risks, and be brave to find your inner bliss.

I left this wonderful place with a real separation anxiety. Mati (especially Dahican) will always have special place in my heart and I'm hoping to get back sooner with joy and not being brokenhearted. I hope so.

Three things to sum up my April experience: bad decisions, unhappy endings, and Mercury retrograde. I don't really believe in astrology stuff but some forecasts on my sign during Mercury retrograde somehow actually happened. But, I didn't blame the stars nor other heavenly bodies because those unfortunate things were the consequences of my bad decisions and stupid actions. Haha!

Yes, April was a month full of zany dramas, mental and emotional breakdown (both literally and figuratively), and stressing myself out on petty things. It was hell of a roller coaster plus Ferris wheel ride of emotions. So this time, can I blame gravity for falling for the wrong person, again? Kidding aside, I know it sounds really cliche but I always believe that everything happens for a reason. And maybe one of the reasons is that it served as a wake-up call...a wake-up call that I should stop chasing people and I should know my worth and I should love myself more. And oh, I forgot to warn you, this might be one of the dramatic blog posts that I wrote before. I just need to get things off my chest and I think pouring it into writing might help.

The infamous Boracay sunset. Yes, I am forever that kid who really get's excited when the sky is in pretty hues.

I had my first out-of-Cebu getaway during this month. I went to Boracay with so much excitement because a) I would finally be able to visit to one of the world's best islands; b) I would be able to watch the beautiful and saturated sunset/sunrise before my very eyes and not just on my Instagram feed; c) I would be seeing an online buddy in person. (Yes, I'm an ambivert and I really love meeting new people especially those I usually talk to on the Internet.)

Hand lettered this by the beach. I've always wanted to that stuff during my beach trips and now, was able to do it!

Everything went well during our first two days in the island until I wasn't able to accomplish the third reason I went there due to some unavoidable circumstances. To be honest, I'm even mad at that person but I was just so upset. Maybe because I expected too much. Or maybe because it happened to me not just once but thrice already. And what makes me so sad is that we already stopped talking as if we're back from being strangers again. And I don't know yet how to move on from that. Lol. This was my least favorite getaway not because I didn't like the place but because of what just happened.


Okay. Enough of the drama. On April 14th, I was able to attend the launch the debut EP of an up-and-coming electro-indie duo Mandaue Nights at A SPACE Cebu. Mandaue Nights was one of the opening acts for December Avenue and Clara Benin's gig here in Cebu last January. That was the first time I saw them performed and totally feel in love with their music as it reminded me of some of my favorite indie/alternative bands like The 1975, LANY, and Vampire Weekend. And I just found myself watching some of their gigs after. The duo performed their hit songs You and I and First Kiss.


Local artists like .fc, Sepia Times, and Eskina Jones also performed during the event. Mandaue Nights and Eskina Jones also performed their collab song called Super Sonic Love that is so LSS-worthy. By the way, you can stream to the rest of the tracks here.

It was one epic night of music and love that kind of reminds me of one of my favorite movies Nick and Norah's Playlist...except that I was all by myself. I've always wanted to have a friend slash musical soulmate who also loves indie music. Haha!


Also during month, my other favorite artists dropped some new songs. December Avenue released a new song called Bulong. Watch the music video of the song and find out why I got emotional. Lol. My favorite duo HONNE also dropped two tracks Me & You featuring Tom Misch and I Just Wanna Go Back. They never fails to deliver songs are quite infectious and eargasmic and it was like a love at first listen especially the track Me & You since I have a huge thing for cosmos stuff. And of course, the highly-anticipated comeback single of Ariana Grande called No Tears Left to Cry, in which the  music video visuals (as well as the cover art) remind me of Brandon Woelfel's trademark photography techniques. April was such a beautiful month for music lovers out there like me.



And to end the month with a bang, I surely didn't missed to attend the yearly Japanese summer festival called Bon Odori. Who would have thought that we've been attending this awesome event for five years already! The Bon dance, the variety of Japanese food, the people (whether Japanese or not) who wore their colorful yakatas, the Japanese songs played—it was definitely a great way to experience the Japanese culture without flying to the Land of the Rising Sun.


My April experience might be a bit heartbreaking but I always remind myself that not all the time you're going to suffer because after the rain, there's always a rainbow. People either come to your life and stay or they leave a lesson that will mold you as a better version of your current self. Moreover, Demi Lovato once said, "Life can be difficult at times but fighting through the pain is so worth it." and that gave me a silver lining to continue living in this world of scary unknowns.