10 Things That Summed Up My 2019

I am writing this on my bed, trying to be productive on a lazy holiday afternoon. And just like that, 2019 already bid goodbye. I’m trying to reminisce everything on the past year and translate them into words. I realized that it wasn't that good nor bad at all.

2019 saw a year of both reaching the highest ups and lowest lows of my life. I gained a few but I lost a lot. And after a couple of hours of finding the right words, I finally came up with a short list of things that made my 2019 a helluva great ride. Before closing this chapter, let me share the highlights of my 2019 experience.

1. Going digital in making art

Since 2018, I’ve always wanted to try digital hand lettering. So when I decided to buy an iPad as a birthday present for myself, I was so excited to draw letters on Procreate for the first time. At first it was kind of nerve-wracking but with the help of  YouTube and Instagram tutorials from my favourite artists, I was able to find my techniques and style little by little. And these days, I’m starting to write my friends' names in fancy letters and make hand lettered postcards from my recent trips as well.

2. “Sometimes, we are just a stop along the way and not the actual destination.” 

In your 20's, you get to meet a lot of people and yes, it can be overwhelming that sometimes you just found yourself being enraptured by their charms (and/or words). If you’re gonna ask me if this is normal, I would be giving you a big YES with glee. But not all the time we get that fairytale happy ending we wanted because in reality, some people come into our life, it's like they just come to visit and then they just leave. And it’s either they're great memories we like looking back or a life lesson we need to learn the hard way. But 2019 was more like the latter. It kind of gave me a trauma and a bit of trust issues. LOL. Anyway, whether we like it or not, we need to accept the fact that change is the only permanent thing in this world.

3. “Above anything else, guard that precious thing inside your ribs—your heart.”

In connection to the rambling above, we tend to feel almost all kinds of emotions that can also be sometimes overflowing. While to fall in love makes us human, I think it also important to breathe and evaluate things first before taking steps further. I must admit, I met a few people this year and really thought they were "The One" but ended up breaking my own heart because of my own expectations. Hahaha! So when Taylor Swift said, "maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much," I felt every word of these lines. Gosh! Who would've thought dating in your 20's is actually as complicated as finding a needle in an enormous haystack? LOL.

4. The formation of Grammer Session Cebu

Early this year, my online buddies and I formed GSC (@grammersessioncebu), a small Instagram community of creative individuals not only to express ideas, but also to build connections among other Instagramers here in Cebu. We organized a few Instameets where we shared out-of-the-box ideas, different stories, and fun moments. Organizing such activities might be tedious but seeing how these people you just met on the Internet turned into your real-life friends and brainstorming wonderful ideas is quite rewarding.

5. Random art dates

I had never been so busier in 2019 that I’m having a hard time keeping up with my bestie and partner-in-crime Sarah. Our hectic and different working schedule resulted into a low-maintenance friendship. However, we make time to see each other through random art dates. After shifts or Saturdays were usually filled with creating art while chitchatting with different life updates. I hope in 2020, I would be able to do museum dates as well. *fingers crossed*

6. Blurring between music and emotions

Even since Carly Rae Jepsen released E•MO•TION, aka one of the best records of 2015 and definitely one of my favorites, I really had high expectations on her next album. And yup, it didn’t disappoint! She was able to pull up another pop perfection through Dedicated. The tracks were so infectious that I usually caught myself dancing to them even if some of them have actually sad meanings. Also, she even brought the Dedicated Tour in Manila in May but due to sad and unforseen circumstances, I was able to watch it. Shout out to the Twitter folks who witnessed this spectacular event (in which some fondly called it a prayer meeting lol) and fed the #TeamBahay with tons of screaming and dancing through their fancams videos. Favourite tracks, in no particularly order: Happy Not Knowing, Real Love, and Want You in My Room.

On the other hand, one of my favourite bands also made a comeback in 2019. Vampire Weekend released their highly-anticipated and fourth studio album called Father of the Bride. Although it’s kinda more of musical than lyrical compared to their previous album Modern Vampires of the City (in which the theme centered to faith and mortality, making Ezra Koenig a wordsmith and great story-teller), what I love about their current album is that they explored more different musical styles, plus they collaborated with Danielle Haim of the trio-sister band HAIM in some of their songs. I couldn’t stop playing on loop to Hold You, Harmony Hall, We Belong Together, and as well Jerusalem, New York, Berlin. Anyway, a big part of me always wishes that they would come to play here in the Philippines someday.

Still talking about favourite bands, Bastille unveiled their third studio album Doom Days on June. Interestingly, lead vocalist Dan Smith even shaved his head in one of the music videos . It is said to be that this album was about a night at a party and escapism plus giving out a euphoric and clumsiness dose to the listeners. I usually like listening to the tracks like Joy, Million Pieces, and Quarter Past Midnight while walking, making me feel like I was part of a music video.

Waiting at Mactan Cebu International Airport.

Taipei at night.

7. A string of firsts while traveling abroad 

If there’s one thing that gives me an exhilarating feeling, I think it would be traveling abroad. Who would have thought this would give me a string of firsts. It was my first time to travel abroad and I was all alone. I really don’t mind traveling alone since I’ve been traveling solo since 2017, but the horror of facing the immigration officers gave me a series of mini heart attacks. If you’re a Filipino who’s planning to go outside the country, you will be thrown with tons of questions (some of them are way too personal) on why you’re leaving. I was interviewed by an immigration officer for more than 20 minutes. She was asking a LOT of questions and I just answered her honestly and politely.  I’m glad I was able to pass this phase. I'm not an expert on this but I guess one of the keys is the infamous phrase less talk, less mistake plus a LOT of patience.

A beautiful view on sunset from a window in Chang Gung Memorial Hospital in Taouyan, Taiwan

Took a few snaps of this busy neighbourhood near the hospital.

8. Living alone in a foreign country for months

I haven’t mentioned why I went abroad. I actually flew to Taiwan because of my sister's condition. I got a call from my sister’s agency there that she was brought to the hospital due to a serious illness then had undergone a couple of surgeries and needed an immediate family to take care of her. I instantly became a nurse and a caregiver when in fact, I didn’t have a proper training of taking care of very ill patients. Don’t get me wrong but I never wanted to live in a hospital. Maybe because I don’t want to witness a lot of people suffering. Their hospital was actually amazing (state-of-the-art facilities, great medical staffs, etc.) but living in a hospital in a foreign country with no one to talk to was a lot like hell every single day. Plus, it was kind of difficult to adjust from a new environment especially their food, language barrier, and even some customs. I was in a constant battle with emotional and mental breakdowns. Thank God, I was able to cope with it. And as of writing this, my sister is also starting recovering and undergoing some therapy. When Kelly Clarkson once said, “God won’t give you anything you can’t handle,” it has never been so truer.

9. Deleting social media accounts 

The last half of 2019 hit me so hard that I was always on the verge of deleting my social media accounts. I craved for serenity and solace that I thought it was a great option to go on hiatus without telling anyone. I’m not sure if this was just part of my constant existential crisis or I was just really depressed about the shortcomings in my life lately. This also denotes that social media can be both beneficial and toxic at the same time. But later on, I realized I just needed a break. Taking a break is okay because you need to breathe from everything that’s been bothering you. Also, I've always wanted going to the beach. I don't know why but staying at the beach keeps me sane. So maybe this year I need to go to the beach more often sans the use of gadgets.

10. Getting back to writing

I’m starting to get back to one of my first loves, that is writing. One of the reasons I created this blog is to serve as an outlet and training ground for my love for writing thoughts and sharing stories. Nowadays, a lot of writing prompts has been exploding in my head like firecrackers so my Notes app on my phone has been filled with unorganized random thoughts. Haha! I must admit, I don’t have a perfect grammar but tell for sure it has been improving and I’m starting to learn new words, too. I just wish I would be able to write and update this blog more often. And who knows one of these days I’d get back to making some haikus again?

Clearly, 2019 may not be my best year but it definitely taught me a lot of new things. I kind of know everything happens for a reason but sometimes we just don’t know why and how to accept them. I can’t tell yet if I already matured enough but these experiences and lessons gave a better version of my current myself. How about you? What were the highlights of your 2019? Share us your story below.