I am writing this on my bed, trying to be productive on a lazy holiday afternoon. And just like that, 2019 already bid goodbye. I’m trying to reminisce everything on the past year and translate them into words. I realized that it wasn't that good nor bad at all.

2019 saw a year of both reaching the highest ups and lowest lows of my life. I gained a few but I lost a lot. And after a couple of hours of finding the right words, I finally came up with a short list of things that made my 2019 a helluva great ride. Before closing this chapter, let me share the highlights of my 2019 experience.

1. Going digital in making art

Since 2018, I’ve always wanted to try digital hand lettering. So when I decided to buy an iPad as a birthday present for myself, I was so excited to draw letters on Procreate for the first time. At first it was kind of nerve-wracking but with the help of  YouTube and Instagram tutorials from my favourite artists, I was able to find my techniques and style little by little. And these days, I’m starting to write my friends' names in fancy letters and make hand lettered postcards from my recent trips as well.

2. “Sometimes, we are just a stop along the way and not the actual destination.” 

In your 20's, you get to meet a lot of people and yes, it can be overwhelming that sometimes you just found yourself being enraptured by their charms (and/or words). If you’re gonna ask me if this is normal, I would be giving you a big YES with glee. But not all the time we get that fairytale happy ending we wanted because in reality, some people come into our life, it's like they just come to visit and then they just leave. And it’s either they're great memories we like looking back or a life lesson we need to learn the hard way. But 2019 was more like the latter. It kind of gave me a trauma and a bit of trust issues. LOL. Anyway, whether we like it or not, we need to accept the fact that change is the only permanent thing in this world.

3. “Above anything else, guard that precious thing inside your ribs—your heart.”

In connection to the rambling above, we tend to feel almost all kinds of emotions that can also be sometimes overflowing. While to fall in love makes us human, I think it also important to breathe and evaluate things first before taking steps further. I must admit, I met a few people this year and really thought they were "The One" but ended up breaking my own heart because of my own expectations. Hahaha! So when Taylor Swift said, "maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much," I felt every word of these lines. Gosh! Who would've thought dating in your 20's is actually as complicated as finding a needle in an enormous haystack? LOL.

4. The formation of Grammer Session Cebu

Early this year, my online buddies and I formed GSC (@grammersessioncebu), a small Instagram community of creative individuals not only to express ideas, but also to build connections among other Instagramers here in Cebu. We organized a few Instameets where we shared out-of-the-box ideas, different stories, and fun moments. Organizing such activities might be tedious but seeing how these people you just met on the Internet turned into your real-life friends and brainstorming wonderful ideas is quite rewarding.

5. Random art dates

I had never been so busier in 2019 that I’m having a hard time keeping up with my bestie and partner-in-crime Sarah. Our hectic and different working schedule resulted into a low-maintenance friendship. However, we make time to see each other through random art dates. After shifts or Saturdays were usually filled with creating art while chitchatting with different life updates. I hope in 2020, I would be able to do museum dates as well. *fingers crossed*

6. Blurring between music and emotions

Even since Carly Rae Jepsen released E•MO•TION, aka one of the best records of 2015 and definitely one of my favorites, I really had high expectations on her next album. And yup, it didn’t disappoint! She was able to pull up another pop perfection through Dedicated. The tracks were so infectious that I usually caught myself dancing to them even if some of them have actually sad meanings. Also, she even brought the Dedicated Tour in Manila in May but due to sad and unforseen circumstances, I was able to watch it. Shout out to the Twitter folks who witnessed this spectacular event (in which some fondly called it a prayer meeting lol) and fed the #TeamBahay with tons of screaming and dancing through their fancams videos. Favourite tracks, in no particularly order: Happy Not Knowing, Real Love, and Want You in My Room.

On the other hand, one of my favourite bands also made a comeback in 2019. Vampire Weekend released their highly-anticipated and fourth studio album called Father of the Bride. Although it’s kinda more of musical than lyrical compared to their previous album Modern Vampires of the City (in which the theme centered to faith and mortality, making Ezra Koenig a wordsmith and great story-teller), what I love about their current album is that they explored more different musical styles, plus they collaborated with Danielle Haim of the trio-sister band HAIM in some of their songs. I couldn’t stop playing on loop to Hold You, Harmony Hall, We Belong Together, and as well Jerusalem, New York, Berlin. Anyway, a big part of me always wishes that they would come to play here in the Philippines someday.

Still talking about favourite bands, Bastille unveiled their third studio album Doom Days on June. Interestingly, lead vocalist Dan Smith even shaved his head in one of the music videos . It is said to be that this album was about a night at a party and escapism plus giving out a euphoric and clumsiness dose to the listeners. I usually like listening to the tracks like Joy, Million Pieces, and Quarter Past Midnight while walking, making me feel like I was part of a music video.

Waiting at Mactan Cebu International Airport.

Taipei at night.

7. A string of firsts while traveling abroad 

If there’s one thing that gives me an exhilarating feeling, I think it would be traveling abroad. Who would have thought this would give me a string of firsts. It was my first time to travel abroad and I was all alone. I really don’t mind traveling alone since I’ve been traveling solo since 2017, but the horror of facing the immigration officers gave me a series of mini heart attacks. If you’re a Filipino who’s planning to go outside the country, you will be thrown with tons of questions (some of them are way too personal) on why you’re leaving. I was interviewed by an immigration officer for more than 20 minutes. She was asking a LOT of questions and I just answered her honestly and politely.  I’m glad I was able to pass this phase. I'm not an expert on this but I guess one of the keys is the infamous phrase less talk, less mistake plus a LOT of patience.

A beautiful view on sunset from a window in Chang Gung Memorial Hospital in Taouyan, Taiwan

Took a few snaps of this busy neighbourhood near the hospital.

8. Living alone in a foreign country for months

I haven’t mentioned why I went abroad. I actually flew to Taiwan because of my sister's condition. I got a call from my sister’s agency there that she was brought to the hospital due to a serious illness then had undergone a couple of surgeries and needed an immediate family to take care of her. I instantly became a nurse and a caregiver when in fact, I didn’t have a proper training of taking care of very ill patients. Don’t get me wrong but I never wanted to live in a hospital. Maybe because I don’t want to witness a lot of people suffering. Their hospital was actually amazing (state-of-the-art facilities, great medical staffs, etc.) but living in a hospital in a foreign country with no one to talk to was a lot like hell every single day. Plus, it was kind of difficult to adjust from a new environment especially their food, language barrier, and even some customs. I was in a constant battle with emotional and mental breakdowns. Thank God, I was able to cope with it. And as of writing this, my sister is also starting recovering and undergoing some therapy. When Kelly Clarkson once said, “God won’t give you anything you can’t handle,” it has never been so truer.

9. Deleting social media accounts 

The last half of 2019 hit me so hard that I was always on the verge of deleting my social media accounts. I craved for serenity and solace that I thought it was a great option to go on hiatus without telling anyone. I’m not sure if this was just part of my constant existential crisis or I was just really depressed about the shortcomings in my life lately. This also denotes that social media can be both beneficial and toxic at the same time. But later on, I realized I just needed a break. Taking a break is okay because you need to breathe from everything that’s been bothering you. Also, I've always wanted going to the beach. I don't know why but staying at the beach keeps me sane. So maybe this year I need to go to the beach more often sans the use of gadgets.

10. Getting back to writing

I’m starting to get back to one of my first loves, that is writing. One of the reasons I created this blog is to serve as an outlet and training ground for my love for writing thoughts and sharing stories. Nowadays, a lot of writing prompts has been exploding in my head like firecrackers so my Notes app on my phone has been filled with unorganized random thoughts. Haha! I must admit, I don’t have a perfect grammar but tell for sure it has been improving and I’m starting to learn new words, too. I just wish I would be able to write and update this blog more often. And who knows one of these days I’d get back to making some haikus again?


Clearly, 2019 may not be my best year but it definitely taught me a lot of new things. I kind of know everything happens for a reason but sometimes we just don’t know why and how to accept them. I can’t tell yet if I already matured enough but these experiences and lessons gave a better version of my current myself. How about you? What were the highlights of your 2019? Share us your story below.

April came too swiftly but it never failed to leave me breathless, both literally and figuratively. I had a few string of firsts in the past month but mostly were just the tedium of my work-to-home (and vice versa) routine. I was getting busier than before that I didn't notice those thirty days just passed by like a moving bullet train in a span of minutes or hours. Yes, my life is kind of bland sometimes, just like everybody else. Nothing really special happened except that I made a handful of unforgettable memories with my chums. Anyway, here are some of the highlights why April was a month worth remembering!

Organized an event with Instagram friends

My April experience kicked off with an epic Instameet that my online buddies and I organized. A few months ago, we formed a group of creative Instagrammers here in Cebu and named it Grammer Sessions Cebu. We aim not only to share our knowledge on curating an awesome Instagram feed but also to build a connection with other Instagrammers in the metro. We would love to make the Instagram community here in Cebu be active again just like its glorious days.

During the first installment of our mini Instameet, which happened last February, each participant shared their stories—from how they came up with their witty usernames to curating and maintaining their Instagram feed to connecting people online to real life. And who would've thought a simple gathering like this would've resulted into another Instameet but a bigger one?


On the first week of April, we had the second edition of our mini Instameet and called it Grammer Session Cebu 2.0: Summer in the City. Some of the attendees were the ones we've met on the previous Instameets, but most of them were new faces. It was exciting and scary at the same time because the new ones were Instameet virgins, meaning it was their first time to attend such an event. Luckily, we were able to keep up with their expectations. Haha!




The participants were divided into group wherein they've brainstormed on how to get picture-perfect moments in different places in the hostel—from the arcade to the swimming pool to the bar to the rooms. We had lived up to our theme as we held it at Mad Monkey Hostel Cebu City, a new and one-of-a-kind hostel in The Queen City of the South. The hostel just got what we needed to have that perfect summer in the city experience.

[Read: Experiencing that thing called 'Monkey Madness' at Mad Monkey Hostel Cebu]

It's always nice seeing how these online friends turned real-life friends getting together and brainstorming ideas on the things that they love. Also, organizing events may be tedious and draining, but it will always be a fun and rewarding experience at the end! Can't wait for the next Instameet. (Special thanks to Aldrin for the event snaps, btw.)

"Science motif for a cafe? Ground-breaking!"

Please don't tell me you didn't read these lines in Miranda Priestly's voice from The Devil Wears Prada movie adaptation. Lol. My good friend Marco and I just found a new cafe to hang out to called Microscoffee. As a logophile (lover of words), I must say, I like the wordplay of their name and how their quirky interiors related to its unique name and motif. Cafe owners in the city are really stepping up their games as they make their cafes surely millennial-friendly and Instagram-worthy. I kind of know geeks would love this place. Plus, we got to peek a special room on a corner in which, in my opinion, might serve as a study area for students or anyone who wants a lesser noisy or more peaceful ambiance.



Microscoffee offers a variety of delicious food and thirst quenching drinks. My favourites are their waffle and Thai milk tea. And when I say quirky, they even served our drinks in Erlenmeyer flasks and Marco's ketchup with an unused syringe. Not to mention these foods and drinks are quite affordable. I don't know if this is necessary but they have cute and friendly baristas, too. (Wow! I can't believe I actually have to write that down here. Hahaha!)


To experience all these great things, all you got to do is to visit their place on the second floor of Dr. Bb Tiu Medical Clinic, at J. Alcantara Street in Barangay Sambag 1 in Cebu City. Enjoy!

Saturdates and art tambay with the bestie

I must admit, it's really hard to keep up with a low-maintenance friendship with my bestie Sarah since we both have different work schedules and priorities. I kind of know that a lot of struggling (young) adults out there can totally relate on this. Haha! So I was so happy the Saturdays of April were filled random art dates. Imagine catching up with each other while making art, from late afternoon until it's almost ten in the evening. Time flies really that quick when we're together, sans the dull moments.

When Lana del Rey said, "I got that summertime sadness," I really felt that

You know it's really the peak of the summer season in the country when it barely rains as the humid weather was killing me. In this kind of weather, I usually imagine myself heading to the nearest resort, chilling with my pals and listening to summer tracks by the beach with a bottle of cerveza in my hand. Too bad, I was so caught with tons of workloads that this just remains a daydream and wishful thinking at the office. But at least I had an awesome summer in the city experience early this April. Anyway, I'm looking forward to May since I might be hitting the salt waters! Fingers crossed.

On writing more but also learning to take a break

In the beginning of this year, I swore to myself that I should keep this blog alive again. That I should write more often no matter what. I never consider myself a writer but whenever I try to write a blog post, I usually get writer's block. There was a long weekend in which I decided to stop doing my usual weekend hand lettering drills, sat down in front of my laptop, and really tried my best to write something but believe it or not, it took me couple of hours just to compose the introduction. Haha! I know it normally happens to me but sometimes it can be frustrating. Until I came across this article, and found out that I was not alone after all! This is really helpful and I've also learned that I should take a break or lose myself sometimes, like as singing or dancing like nobody's watching. I might be making a special playlist for this!

Another hindrance I've been facing while creating blog posts is the lack of free time. It's really difficult juggling between having a daytime job and doing the things you love. I can't help but feel amaze to those people you can do both and at the same envy them. I really do. Lol! I hope someday I can master the art of multi-tasking.



One thing I like about writing this monthly recap is that it always keeps me on track if I was productive or not on the past month. With all these happenings, I guess last month was kind of a balance, even if I was on a constant battle with procrastination and creative block. Haha! But I'm glad that I'm slowly learning how to fight them. And I think it is a good sign. I may be taking baby steps now but I'm pretty sure I'm getting there. ☺

To be honest, this blog post has been on my drafts for more than a year already but it was still half-written. I could still recall the constant rollercoaster (and even Ferris wheel) ride of emotions I felt when I started writing this. Imagine writing this just a few days after that most despairing trip you've ever had! And even until now, I'm still ambivalent towards posting this or I'll just keep this on my drafts once again and pretend I didn't write this because I don't want to share something way too personal on this virtual diary. But I realized that this was also part of the unforgettable moments I had while I was busy chasing flights and blurring with the moments of music and meeting people. 

Now that I've already emancipated from that summer heartbreak, I'm ready to share this not-so-interesting-nor-romantic story. I think it's about time to finish and publish this. And so here it goes...


It was already late afternoon when the plane I was boarding had finally touched down Cebu but I could still feel the sun softly kissing through my skin as I got off from the plane. As I headed to the exit gate of the arrival area, I kind of witnessed a dramatic exhibition of strangers just like the ones we see in movies—from being lost to having unnecessary arguments to airports reunions—which never failed to put a smile on my weary face. I didn't even notice that it had been half an hour since I've been observing them.

   Thrift store fashion, imperfect tattoos 
   Taking showers, minus shampoo

It took me quite some time to get a cab. While waiting, I decided to put on my earphones and scanned through the playlists I made on Spotify. (I really have this huge thing for carefully curating playlists, depending on my mood in every moment.) This time, I tried to take a spin on my so-called travel playlist, put it on shuffle, and out of the blue, pink skies started to play. It was absolutely the first LANY song I've ever heard and loved. But I started to panic and asked myself like a perfect fool, "of all the tracks, why this one?" Waves of emotions came rolling in.

     You are my favorite everything
     Been telling girls that since I was 16
     Shut up, I love you
     You're my bestfriend

The driver finally arrived. Paul Jason effortlessly finished singing the first few lines and here came the pre-chorus part as I was slowly getting blurry flashbacks of a certain person. Actually, someone who used to be the center of my (parallel) universe. Someone I met virtually but it felt like we've already met in real life for some unexplainable connection. Someone I used to talk to even until the wee hours of the morning. Someone I really thought that could be the Nick O'Leary to my Norah Silverberg and sorta felt like we were musical soulmates because we shared almost the same favourite kind of music genre and bands. But in this digital age, is it really possible to fall in love with a person whom you've never met yet? I don't know. Probably?



We passed by the iconic bridge and I gazed at the left window of the cab as I witnessed a spectacular view of the sky in pink and orange hues. Coincidentally, the chorus part was playing as another set of flashbacks of the same person came in. This time, it was getting clearer. I could still remember how he really loved the beach over the summits while I was the total opposite. The salt water and waves excite him more while ascending in the muddy trails gives me adrenaline rush and solace. So I kind of think that we were not on the same geographical map, but whenever I see that the sky is in beautiful colours on that horizon, I can't help but think of it as our tryst. It was like our secret rendezvous in my playful mind, at least. I guess that's how I fell in love with this song even more. And so were you. This could have been our unofficial soundtrack, perhaps? Lol. But honestly, this song always reminds me of no one but you.


     Talking under pink skies,
     I think our hearts are starting to show.
    That it's better, you and I, under pink skies.

Funny when I could also remember how we used to exchange messages. We had different work schedules: when my shift was about to end but you were still on your way to work. Our chat messages seemed like email messages since we both always got delayed replies. It also kinda felt like we were battling with the time zones though we were both just within the Philippines. Talking 'bout struggling young adults, eh? I must admit, I got annoyed with myself when I used to overthink your punctuation marks and how you used to make fun of how I frequently misspelled my words but we were definitely not Grammar Nazis. We were probably just two different people, trying too hard to translate their feelings in layman's terms. We agreed to meet (outside the cyberspace). And I felt like I was in nirvana when I realized that we'll be meeting at one of the world's best islands with the best sunset. Isn't it romantic?

     We can work it out
     You and I are meant to be together
     This is how it's supposed to feel
     I'm in love with how this feels

LANY was still playing but this time, it's getting louder in my head. "Ugh! There. These lines," I blurted out. These lines somehow reminded me of this tweet, which made me think of a kinda cheesy scenario. What if we'll going to attend their upcoming concert in Manila and candidly do what's written on this tweet: we'll make eye contact as we hold hands then start singing our heart out to the last two lines? Who knows? It could be the best concert experience we'd ever had. Oh, wishful thinking!

Here came its last chorus until the song slowly bid goodbye. Awkward silence. Fake smile. I glanced at the window once again and saw those cotton candy-colored skies were taken over by a starless dark evening sky little by little. "Okay. What a good metaphor on what happened to us." I sighed.


     "This is another story of a lonely boy and how he tried crossing oceans and ditched one of his favourite bands' concert just to see him. He couldn't contain his excitement at that time, to be honest. But due to unforeseen circumstances, they weren't able to meet. He's not even mad at him. He just wished they had the time..."  

— This could be a perfect synopsis for a novel that I'll never publish.

For the record, he's never an ex nor we were in a relationship. He was more like the one I never got that got away, in just a blink of an eye. An almost. I know it's been a year already but sometimes I still get bombarded with a few questions in my mind--- the infamous series of what-ifs that comes with a tiny bit of hope. What if we tried harder? What if I was patient enough to wait? What if you made time? or What if we decided and agreed not to meet in person and just remain online buddies for the rest of our lives instead?... But I kind of know I always get a "will everything stays the same?" at the end. In other words, I will never get the exact answers. Ever. 

Now you probably know why I overreacted when I heard this song again (after skipping it for quite some time already) or literally whenever I see those pink skies. It simply came with memories I wanted to forget, attached to that someone. 



After almost an hour on the road, I finally reached my destination. Home sweet home. It had been longest and most exhausting trip I had but surely it was worthwhile. Gosh! How I miss my comfy bed.
"And who would have thought that a simple 'hello' could just end with a painful 'thank you and goodbye'? I guess neither of us would." I shut my eyes, called it a day, and hoping that he won't appear in my dreams tonight.